desire

(Anonymous’ question continued) I feel like there is something so strange about a person like me who is so reserved- celibate of all sexual activity, and yet, I don’t really have erotic dreams, and it doesn’t SEEM like I’m repressing anything. I will say that I am EXTREMELY creative and passionate…

If your boyfriend hasn’t initiated anything sexually, and he gets upset when you talk about it, then it’s pretty clear your boyfriend isn’t feeling ready for any kind of sex yet and you need to respect that. You can certainly talk to him about this – making clear that you have no interest in…

Lisa, I can’t implore you enough not to take this personally and not to think about this as you being inadequate. You’re not inadequate: you two just wanted different things. Our needs and wants and someone else’s needs and wants are just not always going to mesh, even when one or both of us really…

I’m going to assume that when you say “sex” you’re talking about vaginal intercourse. If your boyfriend is going to have partners with vaginas who experience pleasure with sex, he’s going to have to adjust his way of thinking. Most people with vaginas – around 70% – are NOT going to reach orgasm…

(Elizabeth’s question continued) I tried to show him porn and he literally left the room. I know he isn’t gay because whatever hatred he has for the female body is only a fraction of how turned off he is by the male body. He says that he sees sexual things as a chore and would rather masturbate…

You just answered your own question. You don’t need me at all! :) If you don’t think you can handle a sex life right now, and you don’t feel like sex outside of a certain context – which you are not currently in or don’t have the opportunity to be in – fits with what you believe or is going to be…

Hey there, Jennifer. I’m a long-time vegan and vegetarian myself. Welcome to the club! It’s entirely possible that your switching to a vegan diet and the lowered libido and/or the yeast infection are coincidental. But I can think of a couple possibilities and things to try in terms of your diet in…

Really, truly, the longer we’re in relationships, the more we’re going to go through times when for one partner or the other – sometimes both – libidos are low or sex just isn’t a high priority. That’s okay. To expect our sex lives as time goes on to resemble how they were when we were brand new…

Vaginal dryness can have lots of different causes. Especially if you’re having dryness all the time (even when you’re not aroused or sexually active as well), you’ll want to first check out the other things going on in your life and see if there’s a cause there. Some medications and certain…

The term “prude” is such a heavily loaded, judgmental term that I’d really encourage you not to apply it to yourself or anybody else. The implications that come along with that are just not very helpful, so I’d suggest removing that from the way you’re thinking about your situation. There are lots…