communication

Let’s do what we can to work this out, okay? I know it’s tough – especially if you’re also dealing with trauma in your family – and it’s scary, but it really is workable. I don’t know what you mean when you say you’re always careful, but there are currently – sparing men or women who get…

If you’re uneasy about it, then I think it’s pretty obvious that it’s probably not the time to do it yet. We can like someone a lot and be intimate in ways with them that don’t require sex or any given type of sex, and which also don’t put us at risk of things we’re not prepared to be at risk for…

Say you don’t really dig giving oral sex. That really is all there is to it. Very few people like to do EVERYTHING there is to do sexually. I bet your boyfriend doesn’t like to do everything any given partner of his might or will want to do, either. Maybe it’s that he doesn’t really like someone…

I wouldn’t say you’re probably doing anything “wrong” here per say. Unless something is causing pain or injury or simply isn’t wanted, it’s not really fair to characterize it as “wrong.” Have you asked your partner what he likes? If not, then I’d start there. Sure, you could go get a book or a…

Do you want to have a better sexual experience this time, as well as a relationship of real quality – in which someone loves, likes and cares for you just as you ARE, not based on a persona – with your new boyfriend? If you do, then it’s really important to be honest. When we’re dishonest with…

Here’s the thing: when a person with a vagina is sexually aroused, in general, yheir vagina self-lubricates (becomes more wet), their clitoris and parts of the vulva become more erect, and the vaginal opening and vaginal canal relax and expand (become looser). So, to ask to be wet AND “tight” is a…

It sure is. If it hasn’t happened to you yet, yourself – with your boyfriend or when you masturbate alone – it probably will at some point. Orgasm is a full body event that gets our circulation pumping and our nervous system all fired up. After orgasm, in the resolution phase of the sexual…

Sex doesn’t have to be (and for most people to feel satisfied, really shouldn’t be) only or solely about intercourse, and neither a smaller penis nor being of size means that sex has to be, or will be, unsatisfying for either partner. My good friend and colleague Hanne Blank literally wrote the book…

Partnered sex doesn’t have to be quid pro quo. In other words, there’s no need for there to somehow be some perfectly identical exchange of activities, and with opposite-sex partners, that’s not really even all that possible, since you’ve got different parts! What’s important is that things are…

You put yourself in sexual relationships where you feel comfortable clearly communicating your desires to a partner. In other words, getting your wants and needs met when it comes to any kind of sex isn’t about pointing your bottom at whatever the right angle is for a partner to somehow psychically…