communication

When it comes to sex and particularly to the issue of orgasm, expectation can be your worst enemy. As soon as you are worrying about whether you are normal or stressing about a specific event happening or not happening then you’re creating anxiety for yourself, which is a huge barrier to actually…

and Zooey also asks, I had casual sex with a friend of mine and the aftermath here is getting a bit out of hand. We talked about having sex before we actually did so; however, I just broke up with my boyfriend and I made it clear that I wasn’t interested in any emotional relationships. Last week my…

Anonymous’ question continued At the moment, I didn’t think much about how it will affect us. I just let him and he did it for a very long time. It was almost about a full half-hour when I came. He swallowed and everything. And then it hits me that my BEST FRIEND just gave me a blowjob. He went to…

As always with a question such as this, I find myself wishing that I could throw out the cliché phrase “You just know.” The problem with cliché’s of course being that they don’t often really answer anything. So let’s take a minute to break things down together. Readiness is a very loaded term, and…

Hi there, I think you’re being a little insensitive towards your girlfriend. Have you talked to her at all about why she’s not comfortable with any sort of sex yet? Perhaps four months of dating is not enough for her before having any sort of sexual relationship. Try not to be confrontational ……

Hi Merie, For the record, that awkward sex happens from time to time, no matter who you are, how many partners you’ve had, and how many times you’ve been with said partner. It’s okay, and it’s completely normal. You aren’t doing anything wrong either. Have you told him that while you enjoy being on…

I’m going to assume that when you say “sex” you’re talking about vaginal intercourse. If your boyfriend is going to have partners with vaginas who experience pleasure with sex, he’s going to have to adjust his way of thinking. Most people with vaginas – around 70% – are NOT going to reach orgasm…

See that part where you say you don’t know what he wants you to do? When you two had that conversation – or better still the next day or now, when he’s sober, and you can even ask him if he meant what he said in the first place – your next question would have been exactly that. In other words,…

(Steve’s question continued) I feel weird having to rely to masturbation while having her. We’ve messed around a lot, meaning making-out, I’ve done almost everything to her breasts, and rubbed her vagina through her clothes with my hand and penis(dry humping), she has played with my penis through my…

Kasey: before I say anything else, let me just say that I’m very sorry this all went down this way for you. You holding back tears while continuing to give someone oral sex (which disturbs me), your husband having intercourse with someone else and you feeling unable to say anything, your feelings of…