Leaving & Recovering

There are a few things you mentioned here that I suspect you wanted to have addressed in depth, but I think it’s really important that for right now, I do what I can to help you with what seems the most critical. I think it’s crucial you get some help as quickly as you can, and I don’t want my words…

I was in an abusive relationship. Here’s what finally got me to leave and the story of my journey in getting myself, my child and my heart and head out for good.

I want to first tell you a few things you should know are true. Whatever it turns out your sexuality and relationships are like, whatever it turns out you want from them, they’re about much, much more than your abuse. Because we’ve been abused doesn’t mean either or both of those things will be all…

When we have any kind of trauma, we don’t tend to heal by blocking it out. Of course, we generally cannot simply “block out” memories by sheer force of will in the first place. But it’s certainly common to wish we could. By all means, you had extremely poor care at the hospital – I hate even…

For folks who have experienced any kind of sexual violation–including medical experiences that have felt violating–it makes some sense that you might have anxiety or fear about pursuing further care. I don’t know that I have The Answer for you when it comes to how to best manage this, but I do…

Whether a person is having issues with trust due to sexual abuse or any other reason under the sun, I really like how Staci Haines, in The Survivor’s Guide to Sex, concisely outlines three basic factors for trust. She talks about competency, consistency over time, and congruency between words and…

Before I say anything else, I want to be sure to connect you with a couple of avenues for help because I am very concerned about the state you’re in right now. Clearly – and it’s really common for this to happen – seeing your rapist has triggered a lot for you and clearly, you are in a state of…

HurtandUsed’s question continued He then went and put his hands down my pants and started touching me there. I wanted to say no, but I couldn’t because I was afraid he would get mad or break up with me. He then went and grabbed my hand and put my hand down his pants. I pulled my hand away but he…

Sara continues: …At first I was reading all sorts of tantra books and preparing myself for wonderful sexual experiences, but then the guys around me started taking advantage of my blossoming sexuality, and my first mostly committed relationship was to a guy who told me years later that he had been…

Abba: this isn’t an odd question at all, and we do counsel users with rape and sexual abuse quite often. I’m also a survivor of rape and sexual abuse myself. Rape is a violent crime, and it is normal for any of us to experience trauma from a violent crime being committed to, on or inside of us. It’s…