When did you start to question your sexual orientation? What in particular made that question arise?
I started questioning my sexuality in High School when my girlfriend started referring to us as lesbians. It just didn’t feel or sound right. I knew I liked women, but men were great too. Except I definitely didn’t like men the way my straight and bisexual female friends liked me.
When (if ever) did that question resolve itself?
Everything just sort of clicked into place when I realized I’m trans and the reason why I didn’t like men the same way my female friends did is because I’m not female.
How would you describe your sexual orientation as you understand it now?
It depends a lot on who I’m talking to. I will describe myself as just queer when I’m talking to an LGBT person, but stick with bisexual when talking to straight people.
How do/did you feel about being questioning? Positive? Negative? Something else entirely?
I mostly just felt confused. There are so many portrayals of straight people and, to a lesser extent, gay people but so few bisexual ones that I could identify with.
What is or was the most confusing? When you thought “maybe I’m [x],” what made you feel unsure or second-guess yourself?
The most confusing part was that I didn’t (and to some extent still don’t) feel attraction the same way as my peers talk about it.
Was there a defining moment that clarified things for you, or did you come to a more gradual realization?
As soon as I figured out that I’m trans and that it was a valid “option” I figured out that being bisexual was too.
Did you talk to other people about being questioning, or compare notes with other people of an orientation you thought you might be?
I asked a lot of “so when you say you like him you mean…?” and “so what is a crush exactly?” type questions to my entire peer group.
What would you say to past-questioning-you if you could send a message back in time?
This is not worth stressing out over. You are okay. There is nothing wrong with you.
